The lies . . .

Recently, my family and I were honored on the occasion of my fifth anniversary in ministry. I was deeply moved by the service and the tributes.Within the program was my bio, this morning I was reminded of the commencement address given by the Rev. Dr. Renita Weems of Nashville, TN., in 2011 at Ashland Theological Seminary, Ashland, Ohio. In what was the most outstanding commencement addresses I have heard in over sixty years, I was reminded then as now of the omissions and lies my bio does not address.

Dr. Weems said of her bio,  something to the effect, “ . . . there are lies in here, it does not tell of you the classes I failed, of the struggles I had to overcome to become the first African American female graduate in Old Testament studies, at Princeton . . . , people don’t come to you for your failures, or because of that which you didn’t succeed at, but because of your victory at Mt. Carmel like Elijah and over the four and fifty hundred prophets of Baal.”

I too must confess, there are ‘lies, and omissions,” in my bio. You may not know of the places and moments of weakness and dare I say it, failures, and yes, sin in my life. Fifty years of ministry should be celebrated and thank you for your very kind thoughts, prayers and blessings, but I too like Elisha, look back at the victories of my mentors and those who came before me, and want to know, “how did you do that????” What formula did you use, what words did you say, . ., etc???? If you ask me, I have none to give you, I am after all, just a man, and not a great one at that.

I am flawed, broken and wounded human being, I get it wrong as often (I hope) as I get it right, (I hope). I love deeply those who don’t or won’t love me as I wish; I mistake words spoken to mean things that were not intended. I’ve paid little attention to those who were closest to me, and far too much on those who didn’t then and don’t now care for or about me, and even in that statement I’m sure I’ve gotten it at least partly wrong.  But I have a God, who loves the (watch this) “hell” and sin out of me. My failures and sin have not pushed Him away, but frankly brought me closer to Himself. I’ve fought Him working in me and told him to “leave me alone . . .!” He never listened and never has.  

My heart’s desire is to love like my Abba Father, and His only begotten Son, Jesus, without question, without limit and even in the face of abandonment and hatred. I can’t of myself and in a few cases, “I DON’T WANT TOO!!!” I know that His Holy Spirit resides in me, and He is there for a great deal more than miracles and ‘speaking in other tongues’ and praise dances. His love for me, is all embracing, all forgiving and yes, caring in  ways I have yet to understand. I am loved so greatly, he not only weeps for me, but dances over me as well. Nothing I can do, will change His love for me, and He expects, no demands I do the same and by His grace and power I will.

As a fellow believer I hope you understand, we are called to love one another, and perhaps even more so when we are both near to others and when we are at a distance. Do I care enough about my brother in St. Louis, or that prisoner in San Quentin; those who dare to set up or walk into ministry in the inner-city, while never forgetting our brothers and sisters on the foreign field. Those small churches and ministries on both sides of the racial divide; the county pastor with their thirty members and very little chance for growth; No, I don’t know and perhaps never will know their name and most will never read these words, but His love is POURED OUT on them as well. The newspapers or CNN will never report the REVIVAL that broke out in the rural community and changed it into the life changing ministry that affected an entire county and than a state, but it happen and will continue to happen by the power of His Holy Spirit.

I hope that you can believe that somehow you (and I) loved by the greatest, biggest and most loving God of all time. he is present with you in this moment, and despite setbacks, abandonment, poorly cooperative staff members (if any at all) stubborn and difficult situations and even communities that don’t get you, fight you or even steal from you. You are right where He wants you (and I) too be. It is here that I can say for myself, “OUCH!!!” Even when I cry out for help and no one answers, I know He is with me (see Ps. 23; Jn 14:16)

I don’t take myself that seriously, and I know, that even in the face of lies, omissions, etc., I am (you are) His, for His own purpose and glory, and by His grace I’m learning to walk in it.

Love ya, T.A.B.
"Ubuntu"